


Moonlight Letters

by youxiaotu



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: M/M, is this angst!, yanren if u squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 08:36:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youxiaotu/pseuds/youxiaotu
Summary: 我的願望 奢侈嗎 就算只是一小束花Is my wish too much to ask, even if it's only a small flower?Moonlight Letters- S.H.E





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Moonlight Letters.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyo0xSHHRpU)
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> Written on a cold, rainy morning, wearing a warm jacket and 2.5 litres of water right beside me.  
> I am sorry in advance in case the thoughts are a little messed up or repeated, I wrote this as soon as I woke up.

Wenjun never stopped writing to him, every month is filled with his letters proclaiming his love for him. Words that made his heart flutter, as if the letters were singing a love song just for him. There was no specific tune, but Zhengting knows it's the loveliest tune he's ever heard. Each stroke forming the prettiest image in the world, successfully painting a smile on Zhengting's face every time.

Under the moonlight, lit by a lamp, he'd read each of his letters one by one out loud, tracing each stroke, laughing whenever he reads about Wenjun's adventures with his friend named Xukun, how he was almost caught picking flowers in someone else's garden, saying that he took it because it was pretty and it reminded him so much of him- his one and only. The man he loves the most. He never got tired of them, no matter how long, how many pages Wenjun's letter was.

_It might have withered by the time it reaches you, but it was the most beautiful flower I've seen. It reminds me of you._

He'd read about them over and over again until he had each word memorized by heart.

Until he had a specific tune for each of the letters.

Until his eyelids start feeling heavy, clouded with sleepiness.

Anticipating for the new one to come the next month, waiting for the words "I will be back home soon" written in one of the pages, or at least something that is along the lines of that.

_Words can't describe how much I miss you. Your letters accompany me each night. It isn't enough, but I feel like you're right here beside me, whispering these words to me._

Like Wenjun, Zhengting never stopped as well. Writing every single day about how happy his life is, yet incomplete without him. Wishing he's right there beside him, wanting to feel his warmth wrapped around him, wanting to hear his voice. Each stroke carefully written, filling each page with hope and excitement. He might not be as good in words as Wenjun is, but Zhengting hopes that it would give Wenjun a smile. That Wenjun wouldn't feel too lonely without him.

Perhaps Zhengting was a fool to let Wenjun go and agree to this arrangement when he knows that it's a torture to be away from him. Regret fills him, knowing that he could have done something about it. That he could have followed Wenjun to where he was going. Giving up dancing wasn't much to him if it means that he'd get to wake up and go to sleep beside Wenjun every day.

Everything does not stay the same, but Zhengting still holds on to Wenjun's words as a few years pass. Every day, without fail, he writes him words that might have already been written repeatedly. Still, he's never tired of saying him that he loves him and that he is waiting for his return.

Under the moonlight, hugging his knees, he waits for his letters to arrive and sometimes they would, other times they wouldn't. His long, long love songs now a little bit shorter than usual, like he doesn't know what to say anymore. He would still read them along with the past letters, lit by a lamp, slowly familiarizing himself with each word by heart.

Blindly believing in each of Wenjun's words, Zhengting waits for him. Patiently, telling himself that Wenjun has other things to do other than write him letters. It felt like convincing himself, comforting himself that Wenjun would come back.

_I understand that you have so much to do and I hope I'm not bothering you. Please remember that I love you, Wenjun. I'll keep waiting for you. I miss you. Please write back whenever you can._

Repeatedly, like a broken vinyl record, Ding Zeren would always tell him to have a little fun, trying to pull Zhengting out of his house with all his strength. Usually, the younger would succeed, making him forget about all his worries and missing Wenjun for a moment. Strolling through the city, looking through different shops and buying each other food and accessories that they find interesting.

Sometimes, he would bring Zhou Yanchen along, and seeing the both of them just makes him think about him and Wenjun. Instead of getting distracted, it makes him feel lonelier, missing Wenjun's touch, his kisses, his laughter.

_Zeren and Yanchen remind me so much of us before. I wish we could have fun like that again. I remember how you bought me that flowery pin because you thought they were pretty. I still have it with me. I missed the times where you'd help me put it on my hair. You'd come back, right? I love you, Wenjun._

Wenjun's response was looking back at their times together. Once again bringing a smile to his face. They were so happy before, inseparable. It doesn't feel the same anymore.

He doesn't want to read too much into it. Giving himself more excuses as he reads through the letter over and over again, convincing himself that Wenjun wouldn't. Wenjun still loves him, he knows that. Zeren might call him blind or stupid, but he knows that loving Wenjun isn't something he'd regret. 

Wenjun loves him too. Wenjun still loves him just as much as how he loves him and that's the only thing he'll believe. Wenjun loves him until Wenjun says he doesn't anymore.

Picking up his pen and some papers has become more than a habit for him, writing all his feelings on the paper, tears sometimes decorating the papers. Filled with loneliness. All he wanted to show Wenjun was how happy he was, but the longer this goes on, it just isn't the same anymore.

_Good night, Zhengting. I hope you're happy. I'm sorry I cannot be beside you._

He already knew that years of waiting would be painful but he never thought it would be like this. He always thought that waiting for a short time would be worth it. That he'd have that ending in novels where he'd run to Wenjun and hug him, eyes filled with tears of joy.

It wasn't it but the exact opposite of what he wanted. The letters have decreased until there was nothing that came to him anymore. Not even a "Hello", not even a "How are you?", not even a flower.

Waiting is a waste of time, they kept telling him. He tells them that it would be worth it in the end. Now he feels like a fool because he never listened to all of them, that he kept hoping when he could have used his time doing something else. That like Zeren would always tell him, that he should have had fun.

_It's painful, sitting here and waiting for you. Are you tired, Wenjun? Were you tired of me this whole time? This is my last letter. Filled with all the hope that's left in my heart. I enjoyed every moment with you. Your letters have accompanied me through hundreds of moonlights. They were lovely._

All he got was years wasted. The tears he shed every night due to loneliness, missing Wenjun and wishing he was there beside him have long dried up. Though it still hurts him, though a part of him wishes to still cling on to that one hopeful thought, he knows this is what's right.

_Good night, Wenjun. I also hope you're happy._

 

*

 

**_"Commander Bi Wenjun gets married to Governor Zhou's only daughter."_ **

 


	2. Chapter 2

Zhengting watches as the fire turn each and every one of Wenjun's letters into ashes.

 

"You shouldn't be burning things here."

 

He turns around to see a man in white uniform.

 

Not Wenjun.

 

"I know."

 

The man stands right beside him. He expects him to leave or get some reinforcements to take and punish him, but the man just observes him as he drops another one of Wenjun's letters.

 

"What are you burning?"

 

"Memories."

 

"Must be painful ones?"

 

"Maybe."

 

"Do you need anybody to listen to your must-be-painful memories? I can listen!" The man offers.

 

"Why would you want to listen to a stranger's sad love story?"

 

"Can't I? You know, I'm good at comforting people. I've listened to a lot of sad love stories before, too."

 

Zhengting doesn't respond, instead, he opens another envelope and drops each page into the fire.

 

"Come on, stranger. I promise I wouldn't laugh."

 

He only looks at the man once, then turns back to watching the fire.

 

"I have a friend who kept on sending letters to this other person. I've read all of the letters he received and I feel bad that said person kept waiting for him. I'm assuming those are love letters so they somehow remind me of this- you."

 

It does remind Zhengting of himself.

 

"You shouldn't be reading letters that aren't yours."

 

"It was tempting! Besides, it's all piled up in one corner and my friend never really opened the last few ones... I really wanted to reply..." His voice fades, then looks up at Zhengting. "How about you?"

 

"I spent way too many years loving someone, I guess."

 

Unconsciously, he starts telling him about everything that happened, how much he loved this man, how he waited, held onto his promise that he would be back. The stranger listens to him, offered his handkerchief when tears started to spill. They burned the rest of the letters together, trying not to laugh when the man started badmouthing _That Man Who Hurt You_.

 

Zhengting feels lighter after that, tears easily replaced with laughter.

 

"Much better now?"

 

He hums and gives the man a smile.

 

"I think it's time for me to go. I hope I can see you again, stranger. May I know your name?"

 

"Zhengting. Zhu Zhengting."

 

"It's you-"

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing. See you again, Zhengting."

  
Before he could ask for the man's name, he has already disappeared.

  
Zhengting hopes that they meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no im not making another installment of this but i want y'all to know that i thought i shouldnt make it way too sad...

**Author's Note:**

> at this point y'all should have noticed the pattern- i love making people wait. aslo wo w i cant believe i actually Hurt zhengting this time.,,.., 
> 
> (chapter 2 is a not-so-angst chapter, if you don't want the alternate ending then please don't click on next chapter,, im deleting that later,, )
> 
> i'm @bunnyzhangjing on twt if u want to be my friend !!! thank u for reading this, im so sORry bc i wrote this at a time when i cant think properly laksdjfls if u dont understand then i probs dont understand to... o. . . (but it mdae me cry for some reason wow Achievement i have feelings!!11 !!!


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